I CAN

1) I can drive. This is a big deal considering I am your basic klutz who habitually drops a plate during dishwashing, drops contactlenses trying to put them on, et cetera. So far I've known to have driven right-smack into our front gate, backed into an electricity pole, and made a perfect tight curve right into the bumper of another car.

2) I can read and write Arabic letters, but I only know the meaning of maybe 15-20 Arabic words. So in a way the knowledge of Arabic letters is one of my many useless knowledge, but I am secretly happy having this particular useless knowledge. Make it I am secretly happy having ALL of my useless knowledge. (Yes, including the one about knowing what a wombat is.)

3) I can stand upright then bow all the way down and plant my lips to my knees, and hold that position by embracing my lower legs really tight. Of course I can make the soles of my feet touch my head while lying stomach down, I can even remove my glasses using my feet that way. (And yes, I am aware there are other more practical ways to remove my glasses, which doesn't require me to lie on the floor and flash my underwear to the world.)

4) I can stand upright then bend my back backwards until my palms touch the floor. I did this regularly when I was in my early teens, for reasons still unknown to myself up to now.

5) I can (uh, make it I could fake an accurate French accent when I was 15 and studying the language. My French teacher who was a French man (surprise!! I bet you thought he was Padangnese) actually gave me a hearty applause after I finished reading a passage aloud. It touched me so much because that was the first time, and of course the only time in my life, that somebody gave me an applause.

6) I can read music notes, in fact my prima vista is good, but I don't have the mental strength required to actually perform music on stage. Like many other failed music students, I brag about my mediocre music ability, pretending that I am really good at it.

7) I can do perfect humiliation of myself in tennis courts. My coach would stare at my perfect skill of hitting the air, and say gently: "All right, you are here to play tennis, which means you take a good hard look at the ball coming your way, and..hit it! Okay?"
"Okay!" I'd say enthusiastically.
Then I took a good hard look at the ball coming my way while holding the racket in perfect grip, moved a foot forward, moved my hand in a perfect arched-swing towards the ball, and hit the air. Gracefully.

8) I can add, substract, multiply, and divide numbers by heart quickly and continuously. Being a daughter of a forensic accountant who continually adds up and substracts numbers subconciously, at a very early age I was already used to basic algebra. I was shocked when at the age of 19, my dad said "You're doing linear algebra at university? Geez..that's hard!"
And I was like: "Aren't you the one who keeps pushing algebra into my brains????"
Up to now, whenever I am caught up in a traffic jam, I'd start adding, substracting, multiplying, and dividing the ID numbers of cars surrounding me. Dorky, I know. Eerie, even.

9)I can make killer peanut cookies, doughnuts, and this beef-liver stew in spicy coconut milk. But I only made each of them once in my life time.

10) I can finish 300 grams of chocolate in one go, without feeling sick. Or is it 450 grams? I'm talking about big blocks here. Big blocks of delicious choc. Big. Blocks.

Okay, enough narcissism for one day, so I'll stop here. It's amazing that you've read this far. I can hug you for that. I really can.