PLAYING GOD

The best thing to learn a subject is by teaching it. (Anonymous)

Then I can never learn anything about life. (Peacefool)


It’s a wonder why in Indonesia they commonly call the final-oral-comprehensive-examination, where students have to present their final projects before a panel of lecturers to end their study in university, a “sidang” (=”trial”).

The word “trial” reminds me of a court, where the accused stands or sits nervously, waiting for the judges to decide his future. It reminds me of lawyers, prosecutors, and sometimes (depends on the system used) a panel of 12 juries too.

So when I was asked to be one of the “judges” in a “trial” last week, my stomach turned. I never liked playing judge, playing God. Who am I to judge this student, I am nothing better compared to him. I am not more knowledgeable than him. Why must I ‘judge’ him, and decide what mark he deserves, thus deciding his future forever?

Another wonder is how the other ‘judges’ jumped to snatch the opportunity to rip the student (= the accused?) into pieces. It’s about ego, I think. By giving the toughest questions in the harshest way, they thought they’d gain respect from fellow ‘judges’. Hell, I prefer not to gain respect that way, if I ever need any. I approach this job using a completely different mindset, I guess. The one thing I’m here for is to fulfill my gigantic need to learn from others, and I won’t be too off-the-mark if I say I learn more things from the students, not my colleagues. So ripping a student in public will defeat my whole purpose of being here.

I know, in those ‘trials’, the ‘judges’ are paid to ask probing questions, to make the students defend their projects. But nobody says we shouldn’t learn something from them. Nobody says we should be harsh and humiliate them and belittle the efforts they have put in their projects. Nobody says we must pretend to know everything about his or her projects. We are allowed, I guess, to ask for explanation nicely, to admit that there are always some aspects we don’t understand about their projects. And to admit that yes, we lecturers have our limitations too, so would you be kind enough to teach us something here?

This is what I want to say to students facing their ‘trials’: please do not copy several pages off your final-project report to transparency sheets and use them for your presentation; those look so pathetic. Put more efforts into your presentation (as my lecturers said: a presentation contributes to 30% of your final mark) and hold your head and voice steady while standing there in front of your ‘judges’. This is your project, you’ve worked hard on it, so why not use this opportunity to tell us what makes them interesting for you, why not use this chance to impress us?

This is what I want to say to you: do not stand there trembling like a rabbit, dear, remember what you are here for. Remember you’ve gotta teach us something here.