A FAILURE? BUT WHO'S TO SAY?*

"You will never truly know yourself or the strength of your relationships until both have been tested by adversity. ~ J. K. Rowling, Harvard Commencement Address, 2008

Why does one call this time of the month a failure? Why not, for instance, take it as a proof of life going smoothly, that nothing is unbalanced within one's body, why not take it as a sign that heck, one is alive?

Why swear and clench one's teeth, why not think of the consequence of having a child, that is: having to go to back to living at one's parents, for one and one's husband work long hours and do not have a room for a babysitter at one's house, a mere shoebox of 42 squared meters?

Why not think of the other consequences? One can only add one after the other, can't one? One might say, what about the clutter? What about the laundry piles? Who will take care of the laundry, while one does not have a washing machine, does not have the space to wash 3 piles of laundry a day in a tiny wet bathroom measuring less than 3 squared meters? And surely one shouldn't forget about the drying and ironing area, which is not present in one's house, right? And surely, surely, one does not forget how allergic one is to clutter, does she?

Why can't one think of enjoying the shoebox with one's husband as a gift? Why must one be so stubborn and think things aren't perfect as it is? Why must one be so blind at times? Or, rather, all the time?

Why must one think and ponder, think and wonder, lose sleep and torture oneself with what-ifs, as if nothing good is happening in one's life?

Why is one so anxious on perfecting the perfect, knowing full well inside that failure after failure, one has not ceased to love one's husband, and be loved back by him every minute, every hour of the day, and to that one is grateful, beyond belief?

Why is one so afraid to admit to oneself, that life is perfect as it is? Why must one think of the number three, or four, or five, when two is perfect, is it not the only even prime number? And, and: is it not called 'prime' for a reason?

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*This post, written entirely in interrogative sentences, is inspired by Jaclyn Moriarty's post on her blog (http://jaclynmoriarty.blogspot.com) titled "A Two-Minute Novel in Questions" :)