All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. ~ William Faulkner (1897 - 1962)
The month of May in summary: Biology project: failed. Submission to international journal: failed. Research I Examination: succeeded.
A few days before the exam, I had asked R for a cheesecake treat whatever the outcome of the exam was. So my motivation to get through the day (it was on May 22) was not to answer all the questions from the board of examiners skillfully and elegantly, but to feed my face silly with rum & raisin cheesecake within the next 24 hours.
But I couldn’t stay happy for long: the afternoon after the exam, I found a rejection e-mail from the international journal’s editor, and was consumed with such deep grief it was surprising even to myself. R went as far as buying me a fancy dinner (correction: fancy for our standards, mediocre perhaps for others) that day, but I was so upset with the bad news I couldn’t enjoy it. Good God it was so hard to put on a happy face when one’s paper is rejected by a journal, ha. The next day he took me to the cheesecake shop and I tried so hard to forget that rejection letter with every bite of my cookies & cream cake.
Finally a consolation came last Tuesday when I found out that I had succeeded in the exam.
I am still delirious. Half of me wants to stop working for two months straight and go on holiday, while the other half keeps whispering there is no time left, there is no time left.
Hell, one year left, let’s see if I can make it in one year. I suspect it will take more than a single dose of cheesecake per month to get through this mess I have created for myself.
PS. I want capuccino cheesecake next.
