No, this post has nothing to do with windows whatsoever. I just couldn't find a correct title for this post, and this famous writer whose blog I absolutely love, titled one of her blog-posts "The Window", so I think, why not?
Anyway. I am now in the campus, having delivered 204 printed pages of my would-be book to my co-promotor, about two hours ago. It's not finished yet, my book, there is still one more chapter to go. He asked me to finish the last chapter by the end of this month. That's big. That's a hard thing to do, but I just couldn't say no. Because something in me said that I could actually do that much that fast. I really hope I can see the book in print. I know my name will be printed below his name, albeit my working on it all by myself for the past year. But it will still be my book.
The co-promotor also asked me to submit a proposal for another research grant, which is due 4 days from now. Right now I guess I'm not surprised anymore whenever somebody asks me to hand in a 40-pages of proposal in 2 days' notice. The thing is, for this particular grant scheme (which deadline is due in 4 days! 4 days!) I need to re-do my current proposal, so as to give it a different angle from the one I submitted to the Higher Education Directorate scheme. I've been sitting at my desk in this deserted research room in the campus, thinking how on God's earth I could do just that.
But something in me, a much sadder, much meaner, and much foolish version of me, say that I can actually do that much, that fast.
So here we are, my logical self doing the blogging, and my mean self whispering "come on now. come on now."
