OBSCURE

“I might be in the shower when you get here. Feel free to let yourself in – to the livingroom, of course, not the bathroom.” R (1973 - )


“L?” he called from upstairs, then all was quiet for a moment following my “yes”, and then he came rushing down, arms open. I stood up to reciprocate the hug, not sure what was it about.

“Forgive me,” he said. I was inhaling the scent of his soap, imbibing the cool touch of his skin, uncertain as to why I felt so stupid. Until he mentioned a recent event when I hit the roof over one stupid thing – he said again that he was sorry for whatever it was that he did to upset me and I said it was okay – but suddenly I was hoarse and I didn’t want him to notice that I cried that easily, oh no I wouldn’t let him. So I uttered things like he should check his weight again, and pointed to the bathroom scale nearby, and babbling something like he might have gained back a kilo or two out of the 10 kilos he’d lost during the fasting month.

Just so you know. When I babble things like how much do you weigh, I might be trying to conceal my tears. Oh and just so you know - I love you beyond words, so much it brings tears to my eyes.